“I WISH…” – Get Your People to Know, Like, & Trust You (in that order) – A Manifesto

by | Sep 19, 2023 | blog | 0 comments

He came huffing into the room like a dragon – my new boss.

He said, “Things have to change.”

He reminded us how ineffective we were.

And then immediately, he micromanaged me – all the while asking me to trust in his leadership style.

He and I never had a chance – and I regret that. I admire him now. Super smart strategist and executor.

I wish he had filled me in – and included me – in the whys of ‘the changes’ and the new tight management style that he thought needed to happen.

I wish he had given me a minute to breathe.

I wish he had spent the time getting me to buy in – to see his vision and his strategy, to understand it, to respect it.

I wish he’d worked to help shift my limiting mindset to a growth mindset.

I wish he’d been the leader I needed, so I could give him 150%.

I wish this future self, writing this today, could have sent this letter to my new boss …

Dear New Boss:

I so want to work well for you – for you to be proud of my work and to value me as a colleague, partner, and employee. I’m highly motivated, super smart, and ready to dig in with you.

I just need a few things.

It starts with KNOW. Give me some time to know you.

Explain the whys to me – it’s really smart on your part (I mean, you want us to be aligned, right?) – and it helps me to LIKE and RESPECT you. I might not like it – how you want and need to do things – but I can sure respect it.  

And after a while – after KNOW and LIKE got a chance to take root … I’ll TRUST you.

Yeah, it takes a bit of time – but you know what? You can shrink it down and make it effective, so it works with your schedule. Be super intentional with what you’re going to do. Sure, it’s a lot easier when you give it 6 months, but you can do a fair job with this in 6 days, too. You’re smart, you can do it …

Just honor: 
For me to trust you, I have to like + respect you… 
For me to like + respect you, I first have to know you.

And pro tip: the best way for me to know+like+trust you is for you to work on knowing+liking+trusting me.

I just need some help seeing the solutions you are providing to the very problems I want to address… that maybe I even want to solve. I need you to help me. I’m asking you to help me do my best work for you. And it’s not a chicken/egg thing. YOU have to go first – you’re the leader/manager – you start.

I wish you’d help me help you. It’s not a zero-sum game. When I’m engaged and actively support your leadership, you’ll get what you want … and I’ll get what I need.

End my win/win manifesto – and plea – to leadership. Thank you.

Danny Ceballos 
Unleashed Consulting, Inc.
September 13, 2023

About Danny

With over 20 years experience in training and leadership development  — and holding an MBA and an MA in Organizational Development — Danny Ceballos has worked with organizations across the country to strengthen their effectiveness in leading and managing others through supervision+motivation best practices and strategies.