He came huffing into the room like a dragon – my new boss.
He said, “Things have to change.”
He reminded us how ineffective we were.
And then immediately, he micromanaged me – all the while asking me to trust in his leadership style.
He and I never had a chance – and I regret that. I admire him now. Super smart strategist and executor.
I wish he had filled me in – and included me – in the whys of ‘the changes’ and the new tight management style that he thought needed to happen.
I wish he had given me a minute to breathe.
I wish he had spent the time getting me to buy in – to see his vision and his strategy, to understand it, to respect it.
I wish he’d worked to help shift my limiting mindset to a growth mindset.
I wish he’d been the leader I needed, so I could give him 150%.
I wish this future self, writing this today, could have sent this letter to my new boss …
Dear New Boss:
I so want to work well for you – for you to be proud of my work and to value me as a colleague, partner, and employee. I’m highly motivated, super smart, and ready to dig in with you.
I just need a few things.
It starts with KNOW. Give me some time to know you.
Explain the whys to me – it’s really smart on your part (I mean, you want us to be aligned, right?) – and it helps me to LIKE and RESPECT you. I might not like it – how you want and need to do things – but I can sure respect it.
And after a while – after KNOW and LIKE got a chance to take root … I’ll TRUST you.
Yeah, it takes a bit of time – but you know what? You can shrink it down and make it effective, so it works with your schedule. Be super intentional with what you’re going to do. Sure, it’s a lot easier when you give it 6 months, but you can do a fair job with this in 6 days, too. You’re smart, you can do it …
Just honor:
For me to trust you, I have to like + respect you…
For me to like + respect you, I first have to know you.
And pro tip: the best way for me to know+like+trust you is for you to work on knowing+liking+trusting me.
I just need some help seeing the solutions you are providing to the very problems I want to address… that maybe I even want to solve. I need you to help me. I’m asking you to help me do my best work for you. And it’s not a chicken/egg thing. YOU have to go first – you’re the leader/manager – you start.
I wish you’d help me help you. It’s not a zero-sum game. When I’m engaged and actively support your leadership, you’ll get what you want … and I’ll get what I need.
End my win/win manifesto – and plea – to leadership. Thank you.
Danny Ceballos
Unleashed Consulting, Inc.
September 13, 2023