I want to share a few things to support you in your interest and desire to be the best activist, ally, supporter, informed leader, and manager that you can to the LGBTQAI+ community.
I’m wearing a mask in this video, not because of COVID, but as a metaphor for what we are being asked to do right now, which is to be silent. There is so much going on in our country and in the world that is squashing our ability to be our authentic selves, whether we’re talking about LGBTQAI identity or we’re just talking about being different. I hope what I share here will encourage and invite you to just “Say Gay,”– to talk about LGBTQAI identity and politic as often as possible.
🌈 Hate Is On The Rise
Turn on the news any day of the week and you can see what’s happening in some of our more conservative states. They are putting into legislation policy things like removing books that speak in a very healthy way towards supporting LGBTQAI identity, whether it’s around gender identity or whether it’s around sexual orientation identity. Books being pulled, education being changed, teachers being silenced, states being designated as, “Don’t travel here if you’re LGBTQAI. It’s too dangerous.” The context of this world we’re in right now demands, requires, requests, and invites us to step up and have a voice. Just know that this time that we’re facing right now is very unusual.
🌈 The Community is Becoming More Complex
What’s going on in this country is backlash. It’s a backward slide from how far we’ve come over the past 20, 30 years. We need an understanding and an appreciation that the LGBTQAI community is becoming much more complex. Not only because we’re adding more letters, but because we’re having a sense of what identity means and how we can keep defining it the more sophisticated we become as humankind, and as a country, and as an individuals. Just know that as the community becomes more complex, whether you’re part of the community or not, you’re going to experience and see divisions. That’s just the nature of the beast. That’s what happens when communities become more sophisticated.
Don’t get pulled or swayed by those divisions. Overall, this is about doing work and having the voice to support the other or the person that is different from the norm, especially around sexual and gender identity. When you start hearing things (and you will) about the community becoming divided or having some disagreements, just know that’s part of our healthy growth as a community. It’s very possible we’ll split into different kinds of communities, but that’s not what’s happening right now. For you, as an ally or as a member, keep in mind that the community will become more complicated and expansive, and that’s okay.
🌈 Language Is More Important Than Ever
I know language can get complicated now. It can be a source of tension, a source of frustration, of exhaustion, keeping up on the language, but just know that we’re going through our growing pains. As we start to understand and get clarity on what is going on for us, and who we are, and how we present, and what we need from the world, let’s give ourselves some grace and come into terms with the language as the language becomes more complex.
🌈 Stay Consistently Curious … And Action Oriented
For you, as an ally or as a member of the community, be patient, ask, and stay inconsistent curiosity. “Oh, isn’t that interesting? Isn’t that fascinating? Tell me more. Help me to understand. What is this new term that I’ve heard? What is this new identity? Help me understand.” Just know that the response you get may be one of frustration, perhaps a little bit of anger, perhaps a little bit of, “Why can’t you figure this out on your own?” And that is okay; be patient with that. Stay curious.
Of course, do the work or do a little Googling on your own, but stay curious with the people who can share their identity. Not everybody wants to, not everybody needs to, but there are plenty of us that want you to understand, that want to have the conversations, the hard conversations with you. Not everybody, but stay curious. Don’t shut down.
Also stay action-focused. What will you do with this curiosity and these new answers? Who will you talk to? Where will you put some money? What’s the action you will take? What’s the march you will march in? Do something. Say gay, damn it! Say gay loud. Say gay proud. That’s my invitation to you.
Happy Pride! I really hope that you stay strong, you stay confident, you stay consistent, you stay curious, and you stay action-focused. This is a very interesting, tricky, difficult, dangerous, hate-filled time that we’re facing right now. I implore you to stay in action and celebrate. Pride is about celebration. Pride is about enjoyment, about, “Wow, okay. I can be in my identity and be proud of that without having to take on the world.” But the work is there and I invite you to be part of that work and part of that celebration.