Beaten Down Core Manager? Transform Your Pain into Purpose

by | May 9, 2023 | blog | 0 comments

I recently had a wonderful BEST BOSS BOOTCAMP PODCAST interview with Cynthia Gene Maloney on Moving from Pain to Purpose in our lives … and in our work.

Oftentimes managers and leaders are so beaten down or frustrated or disappointed they feel like there is no way out — no way to move back to their heart when it’s been broken over and over. At Unleashed Consulting we call middle managers “core managers”, much like the essential core of your physical body which needs to be strengthened and honored. And being a core manager in your organization is tough! So much rides on you — the culture, communication, commitment, and community of the entire organization depend on you — but you’re often not given the support or acknowledgment you need.

In talking with Cynthia, I was reminded that there is indeed a way out; a way of reframing your pain to become something that motivates, inspires and energizes you.

Moving from pain to purpose is a process that requires time, effort, and intention. Here are five steps that can help you navigate this journey along with recommended actions and timeframes to do justice to the process and get the most you can from it.


The first step in moving from pain to purpose is to acknowledge and accept your pain. You need to recognize and accept that you are in a painful situation and that it is affecting you in some way. This step involves being honest with yourself about your feelings and accepting that you are experiencing pain.

Recommended Action: Journal for 3 minutes on this


Once you have acknowledged your pain, the next step is to be present with it. This means being fully aware of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations without trying to push them away or distract yourself from them. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, and journaling can be helpful in cultivating presence.

Recommended Action: Meditate, visualize and journal on this for 15 minutes


Moving from pain to purpose is not a quick fix. It takes time, and it’s important to be patient with yourself throughout the process. Allow yourself the space and time to heal, and try not to rush the process. Remember that healing is not linear and there will be setbacks and challenges along the way.

Recommended Action: Pause for the day on your processing. Allow your mind to process what you have done so far – sleep on it!

NOTE: Don’t underestimate the power of the pause! The power of the pause is the practice of taking a moment to pause, reflect, and consider before responding or taking action. It is the intentional decision to create space between a stimulus and a response, allowing you to respond thoughtfully and intentionally instead of reacting impulsively.

The power of the pause can be useful in a variety of situations, from difficult conversations to making important decisions. By taking a moment to pause and reflect, you can gain clarity, assess your emotions, and consider the impact of your actions.

In a fast-paced world, the power of the pause can be particularly valuable. It can help you avoid making hasty decisions, saying something you may regret, or acting out of impulse. Instead, it allows you to respond in a way that aligns with your values and goals.

Practicing the power of the pause requires mindfulness and self-awareness. It involves being present in the moment, noticing your thoughts and emotions, and making a conscious decision to pause before responding. By cultivating this skill, you can improve your communication, relationships, and decision-making abilities.


The process of moving from pain to purpose involves exploring your pain and learning from it. This means reflecting on what caused your pain, what you can learn from it, and how you can use that knowledge to move forward. This step involves seeking a “P2P partner” — to receive support from a trusted friend(s), family member(s), or an experienced professional coach (like Danny Ceballos or Cynthia Gene) who can help you navigate this process.

Recommended Action: This requires a few meetings with your P2P partner — ideally over the course of several months — to truly identify, map out, and work the needed process to bridge the gap of your pain to your purpose.


The final step is to use what you have learned from your pain to find your purpose. This could involve setting new goals, pursuing new passions, or finding a new sense of meaning in your life. By using your pain as a catalyst for growth, you can transform your pain into purpose and move forward with a renewed sense of hope and purpose.

Recommended Action: Wordsmith a “purpose statement” of 25-50 words that captures the essence and commitment of your newly identified purpose. Make it something that you can print (and frame) and put it somewhere you can see on a daily basis.

Overall, moving from pain to purpose is a journey that requires courage, patience, and self-compassion. By following these steps, you can begin to transform your pain into a source of strength and purpose.

Want to learn more? Listen to the podcast with Cynthia Gene on “From Pain to Purpose”. You’ll love it!

About Danny

With over 20 years experience in training and leadership development  — and holding an MBA and an MA in Organizational Development — Danny Ceballos has worked with organizations across the country to strengthen their effectiveness in leading and managing others through supervision+motivation best practices and strategies.